"Si un problema tiene solución, ¿para qué preocuparse? Si no la tiene ¿para qué preocuparse?"

It's obvious to end a long period without any writing by discussing what makes me want to write. It's obvious and it's what I intend to do.

I suspect that I write in order to find understanding within myself and from others. When I want to process my thoughts in a clear and categorical way, I put them into words. When I've settled on those words, I like to be able to look back at them or share them with someone else. It is the same with music. I put sounds together to express beauty and to discover how different concrete and abstract ideas relate to one another aesthetically.

I've used this blog to journal my thoughts so that I could look back at them. I've used it to share some thoughts that my mind has fixated upon to the point where I've constructed an idea or opinion. And the same goes for music that I've shared. This is a place where anyone could go to react to me and my way of seeing things. It is not the best way to get to know me from scratch, but it is an easy way to share--easy not necessarily being best, but it's still better than nothing, I think.

So lately I've been writing more personally and sharing music through e-mail again. I've also had opportunity to play a lot of live music, which is quite satisfying. I've still been writing music as well, but I haven't been recording quite as much lately. I usually need a reason to get things into a finished form, so I have lots of half-ideas floating around waiting to be used and adapted to any good purpose.

I guess a lot of my writing has gone into music for the band I've been playing with lately. We just recorded some live demos that represent our sound pretty well, so hopefully I can link to some of that soon.

I wrote the above words last weekend but I didn't post them because I wanted to record some vocals for a guitar piece I wrote last November to go with them, but nothing was working. So anyway, here's another sloppy 5am cover of a Starflyer 59 song from The Fashion Focus that I just recorded. I enjoy this song now more than ever. It might sound a bit melancholy, but I'm actually quite happy to be singing it. I imagine I'll probably record something that sounds happy soon.




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a few drive-by concert reviews

Jason, Christina, and I went to Chicago to see Damien Jurado and Jeremy Enigk at the end of May. It was a great show and I got a pretty good recording of it. I still haven't had a chance to touch it all up and get it on a CD, but I've worked on it a bit as it was a gorgeous show. Damien played a lot of new stuff and told a couple of good stories. Jeremy did some amazing solo acoustic renditions of some old Sunny Day Real Estate stuff and rocked hard on some of his new solo stuff as well.

I saw Bill Mallonee with Brent later that week and was pleasantly surprised to hear such a seasoned songwriter and performer at such an intimate venue. He was a great guy and he let me play one of his guitars after the show. It was an old beat-up black archtop guitar with almost no sustain. It was an inspiring guitar that seemed like it knew more about music than me. Bill is one of those musicians that had never seemed particularly great to me on recordings I'd heard, but then after seeing him live, I would certainly call myself a fan. Lots of stories and good music from a guy who's been making music for a long time.

And finally, I played a show this weekend in Muncie as a part of the band, Timberidge Historical Society. We were opening up an album release show for Ben's friend Carl, who plays some excellent tunes in his band/solo project "Council, Idaho." So Ben had written some songs, but only had Alisha to play with him (there are about 5 more people who usually play in the band), so I was happy to jump in and contribute everything I could to help bring the songs alive. It was a great time and we are hoping to play a few more times this summer. I got to sing & play guitar, play banjo, and play accordion. You can hear a studio version of the song I played accordion on (Magellan) the band's myspace page. I'm not on the recording, but for the live show I mostly transfered the cello and organ parts to accordion. I'm pretty hyped about what we'll be able to do with all of this. It came together in practice really well in a short time, so hopefully we can transfer that to some shows soon. The show on Saturday was just a taste of what we might be able to do in the future, so I'm quite excited to keep working with them.

There's only one everything.

Best empty

As much as I can remember, I spent most of last week in my room making and listening to music. I had just finished up the school year and I didn't feel like doing anything in particular, so I just did what I do when left to my own devices. It was productive in it's own way. I think people mostly left me alone and it was all good.

Unfinished conversation

This week seemed to be nearly the opposite. I pretty much spent all week not alone. Normally busy friends and distant old friends came out of the woodwork and it was difficult to spend time with and talk to everyone. It was just as enjoyable as last week but in a completely opposite way. Last week there was barely enough time to do all of the nothing I wanted to do, and this week there was barely enough time to all of the things I wanted to do.

. . .

I like it when there is a juxtaposition of nothing then everything. There is so much perspective because you get to know the space that you have to work with and then it is filled. It is so much better than everything then nothing, which is usually just confusing and frustrating especially when you don't realize you're taking something for granted that shouldn't be.

Terribly thoughtful

Right now I feel like whenever I have a sense of everything-ness, I shouldn't try to hold on to it too tightly. Someone showed me this weekend that I should be available to give whatever I have away and it'll come back in another form later. And maybe whenever you've got nothing, there's no use in forcing anything because the best things are surprises? I still don't know where the everything-feeling comes from exactly because I don't feel like I ever deserve it or cause it, but whenever it feels forced, it's a counterfeit that feels even emptier. And even this doesn't sound right because I don't think there's an exact logic to it.

And I feel down to the ground

Last night I took Michelle to Bloomington for a Caribou concert to celebrate her 16th birthday. I wasn't really familiar with Caribou, but I trust her taste in music and thought it would be fun. I was blown away. I don't remember how I spent my 16th birthday, but I know I would if I were her. It was such a fun and intimate show because, although there were maybe 150 people present, there was no stage and they encouraged us to crowd right up to them. It was like a less destructive version of the crowd at the end of the Smells Like Teen Spirit video dancing around musicians who played their hearts out. At one point during the final song, the drummer handed one of his sticks to the guy right in front up him to wail on the cymbal with him.

(So I was entertained by the opening act, but I wouldn't purposely go see them again by myself. I'll give four words to describe my impression of them: disinterested robotic monkey magicians.)

I had read that Caribou is the solo project of Dan Snaith, who happens to have his PhD in mathematics, but he brought a solid band with him for the show. They also had abstract visualizations (think fractals and trippy colorful patterns) projected behind them always synced up perfectly with the phrasing and tone of the music. To me, the live performance really showcased the intense danceable grooves set up by the drums, which were perfectly supported by driving basslines, laid-back guitars and whispered vocals. What I've heard from the records is all over the map and with a lot more electronic stuff and samples going on, but it's still quite fun. Here's a good live video of my favorite song(s) from last night:

Twins / Bees

and always no sad ends

This is an old favorite and I wanted to try it out. It's sort of late, so this could probably be better, but that makes it fun.

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card games and old friends

say goodbye, it's no life
we never realized
where we've been
the sad end we never realized

card games and old friends
and always no sad ends
card games and old friends
you mess it up
you mess it up
you mess it up

no surprise, different lives
express the world on time
sad ends, to the bad ends
we never realized

card games and old friends...

It gives me hope that I'll always be able to pick up wherever I left off with any old friend over something quaint and timeless. It's always had a bittersweet quality to me because sometimes things get messed up and spending time with a friend isn't as simple as a card game.

I also enjoy the lyrics because when questioned about the meanings to any of his vague songs, Jason Martin would usually reply something about how he just wanted it to sound good and that he doesn't even remember what it's about. He said he's written songs and then later realized that he just stole lines from advertisements. This one seems to have a FedEx reference in it, which is funny to think about in context of old friends separating and reuniting.

pop music is not a crime

Occasionally when the endless stream of new things at my usual corner of the internet gets boring, I'll check out Google Reader's recommended feeds. Usually it just gives me some lackluster webcomics or local news feeds. Even if the process is fruitless, I like to figure out how the recommendations were selected given the rest of my web history.

This week I got someone's personal blog as a recommendation for the first time and I couldn't figure out why. What's worse is that I thought I recognized her from the picture she'd posted but I couldn't place where I knew her. Anyway, it turns out that she just works at CollegeHumor.com and I had just watched Michael Cera's interview on the Michael Showalter Showalter there (Showalter is a complete jerk, as always). I probably don't know her, but she did have an interesting post about music that reminded me of some of my friends. I pretty much like any time that anyone says anything articulate about music, even if I completely disagree. It is easily my favorite thing to think about. So here's the post in its entirety:

If I may expound for a moment on the topic of music.

Sometimes I feel like an imposter, asserting my love for music without being able to claim even half the musical knowledge shared by some of my friends (Adam, Amanda, Pavla, Jakob, oh I don’t know, EVERYONE). I wish I could participate in the (seemingly) compelling conversations between Adam and his friends, discussing the pros and cons of bands while I’m simply learning of their existence. Always discovering new sounds, introducing new bands, new ideas.

But then I put on a particularly favorite (albeit well-worn) album, and find myself completely lost in the music, enraptured to a point where I am shocked by the depth of my love. That’s when I am reminded that it’s not necessarily the number of bands you’re familiar with, the amount of lyrics you have memorized, the multitude of concerts you’ve seen, or the relative obscurity of the band currently being discussed. Granted, those details can all be fairly accurate indicators of love. But for me, it’s the feeling that washes over you and completely consumes all your senses when you hear a track that moves you. When you hear a song that sparks a memory so intense that the nostalgia is overwhelming. Or when a song fits your current place in life so profoundly that its very presence in your world brings a clarity and perspective otherwise lost. That is what I think it means to love music, and that justification allows me to stand by my claim. Although that doesn’t mean I’m not ashamed when I have to ask Adam, “wait, is that a real band?”

I’m sorry if this got too ‘real’ for anybody. I promise more mammary jokes tomorrow.

Anyway, I've been in situations where I have had a difficult time relating with other people who love music because I have an idiosyncratic music library. But I thought this was nice because it didn't mention the names of any bands or any concrete musical characteristics. To me, music is more about nostalgia, getting lost, finding clarity, and being shocked by your own feelings than about stylistic factors or momentary hipness.

a song about a museum

New song recorded (before noon!). For now, I'm calling it "about a museum". Lyrics:

download mp3

jess 'n her brother are gonna go to the new show at the museum tomorrow.
so let's wake up early & see as much as we can.
it'll be lots of fun & maybe we'll buy some rock candy.

cause there's always...
T-REX, BUGS, & OL' ROCKS!!!
T-REX, BUGS, & OL' ROCKS!!!

c'mon. we should head on over on the C-T-A.
then we'll walk around on this beautiful day.
all the signs for the new exhibit are as enticing as can be.

cause there's always...
T-REX, BUGS, & OL' ROCKS!!!
T-REX, BUGS, & OL' ROCKS!!!

admission wasn't cheap but we'd all saved our money.
& besides, the giant dinosaur behind the ticket counter
was big enough to convince us to come in.

cause there's always...
T-REX, BUGS, & OL' ROCKS!!!
T-REX, BUGS, & OL' ROCKS!!!

we really saw some pharaohs in a fake pyramid.
we examined bugs & watched a video on cicadas.
but the best part was the new exhibit on...

mythical creatures from around the world
their stories are all real, but they were only half-true.

cause there was almost...
SPHINX, MERMAIDS, & CYCLOPS!!!
MAN-APES, DRAGONS, & CHUPACABRA!!!

Notes about the recording:

• Jason told me to add hand-claps when I described my idea to him (he wanted to supply them, but he's in Chicago and I'm at my house).
• Outside, one of our cats (Skip) brushed against the microphone during the recording (0:51).
• Skip also politely meowed a little toward the beginning (0:20-0:30) and at the end (4:15).
• You can hear the other cat, Choo-Choo, scratching her claws on the house's wood-siding (1:20-1:28).
• This is the first time I've intentionally incorrectly conjugated a verb for a lyric, but that's rock 'n roll for you, right?
  
• This recording is only the second time I'd ever sung this song, so I wasn't exactly sure how I wanted to deliver all of the lines yet. Some of them are quite awkward and need an edit, but the recording was not cut except at the beginning & end--so what you hear, is pretty much exactly what happened. :-/

Enjoy.